When the Feelings Wheel Fails

I once sat in therapy trying to figure out if “irritable” was the right label for what I was feeling.

It wasn’t.

But I checked the box anyway because that’s what the chart told me to do.

You know the one — the rainbow feelings wheel with words like joyful, trusting, surprised, angry. You’re supposed to start at the center and work your way out, like a personality test for your nervous system.

But here’s the thing:

None of my real feelings fit on that damn wheel.

There wasn’t a slice for overstimulated but pretending not to be.
Or crying because someone told me to breathe.
Or silently panicking while scrolling Instagram on the floor of my bathroom because the lights are too loud and someone said something kind and my brain translated it as danger.

So I made up my own labels.

I called it “static.”
I called it “flickering.”
I called it “falling out of my body.”

And at some point, I stopped asking the wheel to make room for me — and started writing instead.

Not for therapy.

Not for clarity.